Thursday, July 31, 2008
The Point.
i believe every commitment will reach 'the point'. this is basically the point in which you feel that you're doing everything for nothing. that your time invested in that commitment is wasted. its the point that if you go pass, you will probably continue in the commitment for a long time. but, if you choose to give up, everything will just go down the drain.
i dread the point. it makes me think alot, question the value of the commitment. i have gone through many 'points' in various commitments. some of which i passed, others where i failed. sometimes, i look back, and its 'the point' that could change who i am, my interests, my lifestyle, me.
sad to say, ________ has reached the point. i'm seriously considering if i should continue. there's no doubt about my interest. it's definitely there. but.. it's just that i don't know if i can commit. don't know if it's taking up too much time. don't know if i'll benefit from it. it's just filled with don't knows and what ifs. i hate the feeling of uncertainty, and i believe everyone does.
what should i do?
i felt at ease when i skipped __________ today. like i was really free to do what i want to. i went for ________ instead. and i had so much more fun. i did so much more with the same amount of time. my brain wasn't overworked, and i actually could rest after a hard day in school. as you can imagine, all these events lead me to question, is __________ really something i want to do?
i really don't know anymore.
i used to be so sure that i'd love ___________ and don't get me wrong, i do enjoy it. it's just getting more tiring, more draining, more unenjoyable, more mundane, more routine.
oh well. once again, only time will tell.....
will i pass the point?
bye!
2:24 AM;
christine was here